career_horizon_mahamartin_humanservices2008

Giving Back: Muslim Women in Human Services

People sometimes ask me,” where are you from?” I was born here in the U.S., but my parents are both Yemeni and Ethiopian. Confusing, I know. I

always hear, “What do you mean? Both of them?” Yes, both my maternal and paternal grandfathers are from Yemen. My grandmothers are from

Ethiopia and that’s where my parents met. They moved here from Ethiopia after they were married. I have two brothers, one older and one younger,

so yes, I’m not only the middle child, but also the only girl. I do have some family here in the U.S., but most of my family lives in Yemen, Ethiopia and

Saudi Arabia. From my mother’s side of the family alone, I know of at least 78 cousins! My family and I lived in New York City until I turned 13 and

then moved to Virginia, where I currently reside with my husband and beautiful daughter, Hadiya. Hadiya means gift in Arabic.

My father passed away before my 16th birthday; his death caused many hardships for both me and my family. Financially, we were struggling and

emotionally, I was a wreck. To this day, I still mourn my father’s death. I don’t think that anything or anyone can ever fill the void he left in my life,

especially when I see so many people around me having the bond that I no longer have; the bond that only a father and daughter have.

I owe a lot to my counselor in college who helped me tremendously in overcoming the hatred and anger I felt inside after I lost my father. I want to be

able to help someone the way that my counselor helped me. Losing my father was a life changing experience and I know that for people who have

all kinds of traumatic experiences, you’re never the same again. Because of this, I got my Bachelors degree in Sociology and am now working on a

Masters degree in psychology.

I am currently a human service worker; I decided to work in this field because I felt compelled to help others in need, especially when they remind me

of my family or my mother. Like my mother, sometimes these people have no where to turn and though we all have family and friends who we

assume may lend their support, it doesn’t always play out that way. For me, being able to assist families and especially immigrant families who are

usually at the bottom of the totem pole, is fulfilling and gives me peace of mind. I assist my clients in getting much needed services such as food

stamps and Medicaid, but also vocational counseling and psychological services if needed. Sometimes, at the end of an interview, I feel like I lifted

some heavy burden off my client, even it’s just a temporary relief, even for that moment they spend in my office.

I know what that feels like. I know how good it feels. The relief that one feels when there is finally someone out there who will not abandon you. So, I

remember my mother’s struggles and serve everyone who needs this “weight” taken off them, even for a moment. I give to others because I wish I

could have done the same for her, for all of the things she has done for me and others, without ever asking for anything in return.

If I could do something else, I am not sure what I would pursue exactly. I think I would start a nonprofit organization assisting families to work through

cultural and religious differences they encounter as they migrate to the U.S. – still a work in progress, but it will happen, one day, Inshallah, as

Muslim people often say. Other ventures I’ve considered is opening up a day care center – and – becoming an event planner!

I enjoy many things about the career I’ve chosen, but I guess there are pros and cons to everything. The pros include the self-fulfillment I receive

when helping people. Human services is definitely a career path for someone who considers themselves to be a people-person and is sensitive to

people from different cultures, ages and social and economic backgrounds. The cons definitely include the salary; you’re not going to become

wealthy in human services! The workload is extremely high, but consider that, we work for the people and are paid by the people through public

funding. And then, there’s always the burden you might carry when at times, you just can’t help someone you’d really like to.

When I was asked by AMAANY editors if my parents raised me differently from my brothers, I guess because I was the only girl, well, I would have to

say that my brothers and I were raised for the most part, the same, but that there are certain things that were a definite “no-no” for me because I

was a girl. I also think some of the restrictions my parents placed on me had a lot to do with my brothers and I being first generation children. I think

my parents were not that sure themselves of what would be acceptable or not while raising us. For example, I was never allowed to stay after school

even if it was for a school-based club or project. I was only allowed to go to certain places with certain people, who were in most cases, family or

very close friends of my family. Sleepovers at my friends’ houses were out of the question – unless- they were daughters of close family friends

(meaning my parent’s friends, not mine!). But, my mom was always a strong figure in our home, and I gained much of my strength and inspiration

from her.

Were I to advise my fellow Muslim sisters about pursuing a career in human services, and really my fellow non-Muslim sisters, too, I would say that:

Always remember where you came from and your own person struggles in dealing with people in need. If you can’t, imagine that the person sitting

across from you is your mother or father. How would you want someone in your position to treat them?

Also, we need to be more career-minded, especially with the way the economy is. Don’t stop progressing; you just can’t move up the ladder without

advanced degrees and certifications. It’s essential to get as much schooling as possible at one time. You will move up faster. Needless to say, it is

very important to have time management skills to better prioritize your projects.

Muslim women today face many challenges. I think that the among the biggest ones is the fact that, we are judged – all the time. Sometimes people

make assumptions once they hear that I am Muslim, and for sisters who cover their hair, more assumptions follow. These assumptions vary from

people thinking that we don’t have any freedom to do as we wish because we are beneath a man, or uneducated or only capable of taking care of a

home. Well…

My main hope is that individuals will learn the truth about Islam and not suck up what they hear on TV or what an uninformed person tells them. I

hope that our lives as compassionate and law-abiding citizens will not be based on the actions of a few bad apples. Just as every race, religion,

culture and gender has their shortcomings, these shortcomings should not define the whole; they don’t represent the majority. Why is it that

reasonable people can accept this idea bout everything and everyone – except for Muslims? That’s just one of the many questions in my mind.

No one speaks or acts for me, my actions are my own. If I step out of line at work, for example, no one can hold it against my co-worker, right? If I

step out of line with my siblings, are they to blame? With my friends? With my family? So, I hope that when it comes to Islam and Muslim people living

here in America and everywhere else in our world, that people will stop blaming all of us for the misguided actions of a few. Because…that’s not me.

Giving back, now that’s me. This is who I am and why I work in human services.

Maha Martin

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