faith_inspiration_ramadhan

I've been fasting (or attempting to fast) during Ramadan for six years now. I first started after having studied Islam in college. I became more

and more curious about Islam as I took several courses on the Middle East, and thought that my overall understanding of the Middle East

would be enhanced were I to learn more about Islam, as well as Judaism and Christianity. Fasting is similar to the forty days of Lent for Roman

Catholics, where between Ash Wednesday and Holy Saturday, practicing Catholics abstain from meat on Fridays, and also give up something

they normally enjoy during that time.

I continued to fast to see if I could do it, to really get in touch with my spirituality, to remember how fortunate I am, and that there are others

who aren't - to gain some humility. Like many others, as I become more integrated into the "adult world," with a full time job, tasks, errands,

friends and family obligations, I sometimes find myself in this microcosm and forget that there are other, more important things out there. I think

we all get caught up in the day-to-day activities of life, and sometimes it's good to step back, to be grateful for what we have versus what we

don't, and help those who aren't as fortunate, to give to others instead of focusing on ourselves.

For me, Ramadan accomplishes this because you abstain from food, drink, and other things so many people take for granted, and you

remember why it's important to help those in need. You truly realize what it feels like to be hungry and experience its physical and emotional

effects. You know that you can easily remedy that by eating, but there are some people out there who don't have that luxury. You also refocus

your energies so you are less concerned with the day-to-day, and become more focused on the spiritual. It's easier to focus on God when

you're not distracted by material things.

I've come to realize that aside from being harder than one would imagine, you start to become ALOT less picky when it comes to food, that is,

food you normally wouldn't eat starts to really look good. You also start going about your day in a somewhat intoxicated state as the day wears

on and its been longer and longer since you had food. Operating heavy machinery or sharp instruments is probably not a good idea! Nor is

dealing with detailed work, like bank deposits or data entries, in my opinion, though you can always go back and undo any mistakes. It's hard

to focus on some of these daily tasks which would normally seem effortless when your body has the energy and nourishment to do them. Then

I imagine feeling like what it would be like if I had no choice, because there is no food, and trying to survive that way over weeks, months, on a

regular basis.

I also find that it's especially tough when you are doing it all alone. Now I'm not one to follow the thundering herd, but when it comes to fasting,

it "kinda" stinks when everyone else is eating and drinking and you're not. I know that when others are fasting too, it feels easier because you

have others who are feeling the same way you are, there's a sense of kinship, of understanding. You also inspire and are inspired by others to

continue because you don't feel as alone in your struggles.

Each year I wind up punking out because Ramadan seems to fall on a tough time during the year for me (usually the Fall), although I wish I

had more resolve. I even cheat a little by allowing myself coffee. If I didn't have that second cup during the day I would probably not be a very

nice person which would make me "lose points", and not within the Ramadan spirit, of course. I believe God is a compassionate and merciful

God, so I hope my coffee drinking will be taken as the lesser of two evils. I'm not proud of this, but I also realize that, in this world I have to

work. I'm young and ambitious, I work not to make a lot of money or have nice things, but for the sake of helping others. It's hard to do that

when you're not 100%. I try the best I can, as a nonprofit professional, as a daughter, sister, partner, and as a person who believes in God. I

truly believe that if I'm sincere in my efforts, even if I don't always succeed, my efforts will be rewarded. While I haven't been able to fast the full

month as of yet, my understanding of how diffcult, but also liberating it is, is something I would have never realized had I not tried.

I first started fasting during my sophomore year in college, when I took my first class on Islam. My Islam professor was telling us about

Ramadan just before it started, and my friend Tanesha took a class on Islam as well so she was curious to see what it would be like to fast,

too. We also recruited our friend Dilcia to try it out. We would each take turns meeting at each others dorms to eat before dawn, and then

break fast together while at work. The problem was we all worked in the same restaurant, which made things tough. Tanesha worked the

register (detailed work), Dilcia was the cook (sharp instruments and very hot cooking surfaces), and I worked as a go between for the front of

the restaurant and the back (again, sharp instruments, detailed work and helping out Tanesha). We would wait by the time clock to break our

fast; we would find something,

anything

to eat and get back to work. As the month progressed it got so bad that we had to break the fast early

just to be able to function.

The year after I went to Washington, DC, where I worked behind a Burger King. The only take out I have ever liked is pizza, so Burger King

never thrilled me. But on an empty stomach, that deep fried "pseudo-food" was smelling good. I don't recall ever running out to get something

from Burger King, but I might have. I do remember that it was really hard to concentrate on an empty stomach. I have always found that it is

more difficult to fast during the weekend - even now. I think it's because you don't have the same daily routine as you have during the week. In

DC, my friend Munesh fasted with me during the week (such a good sport), but on the weekend we would do the tourist thing, which tended to

involve wanting to eat at really cool restaurants and cafes. I'll never forget how after breaking our fast one day, we pigged out on so much

Indian food that it was hard to walk after (but so good!). This was the first time that I actually had the opportunity to explore DC and fall in love

with a place that rivaled my home, New York City. The museums, the monuments, the urban atmosphere were all similar to New York City, and

though I couldn't say that they matched NYC, anything was better than being stuck on a rural campus in Upstate New York. During this time, I

had the rare opportunity to study in the nation's capital and to explore a place that I thought would one day be my new home.

The year after, I started dating this guy when his mom invited us to a Food Show in Syracuse, New York, which was so cool. How could I pass

up this once-in-a lifetime opportunity to walk around this huge convention center dedicated to the food service industry. I was surrounded by

upscale, exotic food products, food that I could only dream of having where I worked during college. Looking back, it was a lame excuse to not

fast, and if I could, I would trade it for one more day of fasting.

The following Ramadan I started my first job after college. I worked at a community-based nonprofit with colleagues who were Muslim, so that

made fasting easier, but at the same time, we ran an afterschool program and I was managing several children. I had to run after "my little

beasties", my nickname for the kids in my after school program (I actually miss them, I really do). I think I fasted the most days during this time.

When I went on to work at

another organization, I was extremely busy gearing up for the 15th Anniversary Gala - my first real experience

working at a major event. Simultaneously, I was tying up an appeal by this really nice woman who ran a marathon to raise money for an elderly

home in Armenia,and starting preparations for aTelethon. There were so many things going on at once, so many new things, that I couldn't

keep up with fasting; I didn't feel like I had all my faculties together.

This year, I started again (I started on the 2nd since the first was my mom's birthday, I'll make up that day by fasting until October 1st, ideally). I

spent my last two weeks tying up some loose ends at work, screening and interviewing candidates to replace me (I will soon be moving on to

another nonprofit).

After the new hire came on board, I gave my predecessor the condensed "what this job entails" run through on my last day

and then crashed for the weekend. I woke up early on Saturday morning and found that, my partner wanted to try fasting with me, but when we

came back from an errand in the afternoon, I really wasn't feeling very good. I then found out that I had strep throat. In fact, I couldn't even

start my new job for another couple of weeks. I'll be working with cancer patients whose immune systems might be weakened from

chemotherapy and being that strep is contagious, I don't want to make them sick. So not feeling well myself, having to take antibiotics with

food, cranberry juice to balance out the antibiotics, and something to balance out the acid, I decided this year's fast is just not happening like I

had hoped it would.

I wholeheartedly admit to having thought twice about whether or not I wanted to share what my life has been like during Ramadan. I have yet

to fast for a full Ramadan and I keep searching for the way. Maybe there are others out there like me, who can relate. Maybe there are others

out there that might be willing to share too, their tips to help me and others like me. I care deeply about the premise of Ramadan, but haven't

quite got the practice down just yet.

To everyone who has and does fast the whole of Ramadan, I am in awe of you.

Ramadan Mubarak!

My life during Ramadan: Getting there

Send your comments and questions regarding this article to: faithandinspiration@amaany.org

Danielle Pekalski